Review: I'm Glad My Mom Died

I'll be very honest here right now, I usually don't read memoirs or non fiction in general because it bores me. But when I found out that it was an instant New York Times bestseller AND sold out on Amazon within the first day of it's release, I was like, you know what? Let's do this.

Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.

In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.

QUICK THOUGHTS AND REVIEW: 5/5, POWERFUL, UNFLINCHING, COMPELLING.   

Possible Trigger Tags:

1. Mentions of eating disorders, mainly anorexia and bulimia

2. Child abuse

3. Emotional abuse

4. Gaslighting

5. Body shaming

6. Alcoholism

7. Mentions of panic attacks

8. Body horror

9. Fatphobia 

10. Addiction

11. Mentions of schizophrenia/psychosis

12. Panic attacks

13. Body dysphoria and dysmorphia

14. Infidelity 

15. Mentions of self harm

16. Mentions of suicidal thoughts

17. Medical trauma

How I Feel About The Book:

I do not read non fic or memoirs. I think I might have made that clear by now. It's simply not in my style to actually. But I was approved for an ARC of it and I  had really enjoyed reading it, so when I actually fell into a slump, I decided to give this a read again since it became my comfort book. 

Readers be really like this is my comfort book and when you see it's like the most heartbreaking triggering book ever.

I haven't really blogged memoirs before so I don't even know how to start with the review I guess? We'll cover the bases.

1. Writing Quality: The only other non fic book that I read was Becoming, by Michelle Obama, and I think that was a really wonderful book, one of the best I've read and something that I would wholeheartedly recommend. But yeah, usually I have found non fic increasingly boring because it fails to hold my attention. But when I did begin to read this book, it felt like I was simply reading fiction. So that was a plus point. It's more compelling than actual fiction though. So yeah, that's that.

2. Character Development: Jenette goes through a wild ride throughout this book, there's no sugarcoating it. And I think that it's a very realistic portrayal of how it happens. 

I think one of the greatest factors of how Jenette was as a child actor is because her mother couldn't actually get the help that she needed. Or didn't. I think she had undiagnosed bipolar disorder and a lot of trauma which kind of manifested in itself and it ended up projecting on Jenette. It is said that she had cancer and had been fighting it and maybe she was very frustrated with herself which ended up being projected on Jenette and she was hyper fixated on Jenette coming into fame which in fact ended up being destructive for her. And I think she has great manipulation skills. Like seriously, really manipulating.

Jenette's growth isn't abrupt, that's clear from one thing. For a long time throughout the book, Jenette is seen struggling through various aspects of her life while trying to get her acting career on point. Maybe since her mother was a huge factor in her life, it conditioned her to believe that maybe whatever her mother wanted her to do was for her good and lashed out when Laura actually pointed out the fact that it wasn't and that it definitely was abuse. I like the fact that there is the actual portrayal of the gradual process of healing over the years and no sudden waking up and saying 'ayo look at me I'm all good now' and I do think part of it resonates with me. 

3. Couldn't put it down- Ness: 10/10, easy, I really couldn't put it down lmao.

4. Intellectual Depth: The whole book's about what happened with Jenette over the years that she was in the industry and in the acting career. It's provocative, unflinching and a very raw account of what happened in the industry with her and I think it puts Nickelodeon on a very different light. I think we all know that the industry is harsh and dirty af, especially when it comes to child actors and actresses. And I think Jenette McCurdy was smart not to actually use the name for the person who'd basically manipulated her during her time on Sam & Cat.

I also read this book because I was told it has some really hateful stuff towards Ariana Grande and wanted to check it out because I stan Ariana too. But there isn't anything hateful about Ariana and I think it's just Jenette venting out her frustrations which is completely normal because while Ariana was rising as a singer Jenette did have to turn down various opportunities. I think the book's very powerful as  a memoir and I do think people should read it even if they're not into like autobiographies. It's raw and real and it has a very accurate description of what it feels like to hit rock bottom so I think it would resonate with the people.

OVERALL, A GREAT READ, I would hands down read it again.