Review: A Lie in Church

The one time, THE ONE TIME I decide to give a published Wattpad book a chance, y'all let me down. Like seriously, I usually am generous in choosing books despite being skeptical of similar books and yet, I am let down. Like for real I don't know how to feel.

With Chloe as the main character A Lie In Church by Juliet Ever tells us the story of how her lie changes just because of a simple lie that takes place inside a church. At one time she's attending her sister's best friend's wedding, the next moment she's wrapped up in a mess where Tristan, the groom announces that he's been in a relationship with Chloe for six months and that she has been carrying his baby. But the main problem is...Chloe has never met this man before.

QUICK THOUGHTS AND REVIEW: 3/5, and I'm being generous.

PROS:

1. Premise: Do not consider me a brute. I will be honest and will speak of the good things when there are good things in a book, even if it gets a bad review from me. So yes, the premise was awesome. Because I was actually intrigued as to where this story was headed to because Chloe had no place to live and Tristan was offering her to live in his house. And lying in the church, that's something I aspire to do one day out of spite.

2. Narration: The lack of drag here is one of the two pros of this story. The narration does not drag. Or else it wouldn't even take me a minute to yeet this book off my laptop like Hera yeeted Hephaestus off Mount Olympus. I'm not joking, I've yeeted books into the DNF zone like this. Buuut, good for this book, the narration  is easy flowing, which does not put strain on the brain [no rhyming jokes here please] and I liked it.

CONS:

I fear this will turn into an essay.

1. Characters: Flat, shallow, one dimensional, stereotypical. They're simply stark black and white with not even a pop of colour or a single shade of grey. Except for perhaps Adrian, his character was a good attempt of trying to make a character seem less robotic. But other than that, most of the time while I was reading this book I felt like, thank goodness they don't exist in real life or I would have gone bananas.

2. THE OVERUSE OF THE WORD "SAID"!!

3. Narration: While the narration style was simple and easy flowing, you could not help but think- "wait, this is robotic. Wait, that's not how it happens". The narration feels so robotic sometimes I feel like these characters are not human, they're AI's. And that kinda sucks when you're actually trying to enjoy the book.

4. Plot and pacing: What the fuck. Like what the actual fuck. Like seriously, what in the FRACKERS happened in this book. At some point I was wondering like, why am I reading this book? Like seriously, that shit just changed plot points like that and I am remotely confused because NONE of those plot points make sense. And they do not make sense simply because there's no motherfucking resolution to them. It seems like the author simply hurried the fuck up to tie the loose ends so that she can get it over with and it sucks. It sucks ass.

And pacing. Don't even get me started on it. I mean, was the book late for work that it was tryna catch a train? Don't laugh, because it did seem like that to me. The developments between Chloe and Tristan were so freaking fast, my mind went like, you do not do that. You do not fall in love with someone that fast. You DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO RUINED YOUR LIFE that quick. And it's frustrating, its frustrating as hell.

OVERALL, A MEH READ, I would recommend people to not waste time on it.